This morning, I'm watching the sun rise above the hill across from my house. The sky is lilac and pale blue, the ground dusted with snow. It's quite beautiful. I can see my husband's truck sitting in the driveway, see the fire hydrant that is across the street from our house. What I can't see is my mini van. My poor, faithful old car. The car I have had for eleven years. The one I was driving home from church last night when I was hit by a police car.
Yes, you read that correctly. Last night, I was hit by a police car.
How it happened is still a mystery to me. I'm the most careful and cautious driver in the world. In the years I've been driving, I've never been pulled over for speeding. I never race through yellow lights or speed to make it through a green. I'm conscientious about pulling over and out of the way when I see emergency vehicles, and have lectured my kids on the importance of doing so over and over again. I'm the annoying driver you get behind when you're in a hurry. The one that is driving the speed limit and slowing when she sees yellow lights.
Yet, somehow I was hit by a police car.
If you're interested in the story, here is how it goes - I was sitting at a red light at a huge intersection less than five miles from my house. Picture two three-lane roads bisected by two lanes of traffic. I was on the two lane road heading west. There was a truck or SUV next to me in the right lane. As per usual, when the light turned, I looked to my left which is the direction cross-traffic would be coming from as I crossed. Everyone had stopped, so I proceeded across the first three lane road, under the light and toward the next three lane road I had to go across. The cross-traffic on this road would be coming from the right, but (of course) was stopped because of the red light. The car to my right was slightly ahead of me (probably due to the fact that I'm a slow driver) and actually sort of above me because we were going up a hill. I pulled up beside him (I only realize now that he was slowing down because he saw a police car speeding toward the intersection), passed him at about ten miles an hour, started into the intersection and saw a police car with flashing lights coming toward me.
The rest, as they say, is history.
By the grace of God my four kids were unscathed. Not a nick, cut or bruise among them. We'll talk about psychological ramifications later.
Anyhow, I swerved and put on my brakes as soon as I saw the police lights. That was when I FINALLY (too little too late) heard sirens. The police car hit the front passenger bumper of my car and carried it (yes, I mean that literally) as it skidded and (according to my son) spun one or two times. I never saw that. My car came rather gently to a stop in the south bound lane of the road I'd been crossing. I asked my kids if they were okay, and then I pulled over to the side and spent about ten minutes looking for my hazard lights.
It seemed like forever that I sat there wondering what to do and thinking, "Oh my goodness! I just got hit by a police car. My kids could have been killed!"
Suddenly, a police officer was at my window. He asked if we were alright and I said, "Yes. It was a green light, wasn't it? I did have a green light?"
I think I must have been in shock. So he says, "Yes, but I'm more concerned about whether or not everyone is okay. ARE YOU OKAY?"
Which in retrospect seems kind of weird. I've been in another accident years ago, and I remember being asked what happened once it was determined that we were fine. Not this time. The next thing I new, police cars were everywhere. Someone was taking pictures of my car, and I was just sitting there wondering what I was supposed to do. I called my husband, but he was in school and didn't get my message. The same officer who'd first approached me handed me a paper that said (in part), "You have the right to remain silent. You have a right not to incriminate yourself."
So, I start thinking, "Am I in trouble? Did I do something wrong? I was coming across at a green light. I never saw or heard the police car. How can this be my fault?"
I called my husband again. Frantic this time because I didn't know if I should fill out and sign the form I'd been given. Then, when I still couldn't reach him, I called my parents, hoping they could give me some insight into what to do (they live about three miles from where the accident happened.). Our phone call was cut short when the officer approached again. He wanted the form, but I told him I wasn't sure what it was for. He said it was a form they always give out after an accident. Which isn't true. Maybe they give them out after an accident involving a police car. It felt to me like he was being snippy about it, but maybe that was my perception because (as I stated before) I was in SHOCK.
Long story short, the police officer in the car that hit me is fine. I'm fine. My kids are fine. My car is totaled. I'm anxious and upset and feel guilty even though I didn't do anything wrong. As I think always happens after something like this, I keep thinking about all the ways I could have prevented it from happening. After tossing and turning for hours, I realized there was absolutely nothing I could have done to keep the accident from happening. I guess, this is as close to a real accident as anything can be.
I've been told the police officer slowed as he approached the intersection. I don't know what he did. I'm sure he didn't mean to plow into my van, but I keep thinking - "how could he not have gone more carefully through that intersection? How could he not have stopped completely before going through such a big intersection?" By the time I saw him, he was going at a pretty good clip, so if he slowed....
Well, I just don't know.
What I do know is that my poor old car is dead, but we are fine. Purely by the grace of God.
And despite everything else, I have that to be truly grateful for.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Uniquely You
I was catching up on some blog reading (read that as avoiding writing, laundry, dishes), and visited my friend Sabrina's blog. Mixed in among book reviews was a post from December where she described her son's experience at basketball practice. Let me try to post a link to her blog -
Her description of her son made me smile. I have a quirky kid, too. Of my four, he's the one most likely to come up with interesting ideas, understand deep things of God, explore the world with wonder and enthusiasm. Less mature than my other kids, he lacks some of the gifts that come so easily to them. While my other three thrive at musical endeavors, my second son struggles to feel beat and rhythm. While my other kids are gregarious and active, my second born is quieter, more introspective and given to deep thinking. While the other three run, jump and leap, my dear second child trips, falls and limps.
Is he to be pitied because he marches to his own beat, lives in his own world, enjoys things in a different way than 90% of kids his age?
Do we look back and pity Einstein or Edison? Do we feel sorry for Ansel Adams?
Of course we don't.
Those men (and so many men and women just like them) struggled in school, struggled at home, struggled with life, but their experiments, their drive, their unique way of looking at the world led to advancement in thinking, design and concept.
I remember when #2 was four. I brought him to get his eyes checked and learned that his vision was 20/425. According to the eye doctor, #2 had never seen the world clearly. A few months later, I brought all the kids back so that my oldest and youngest sons could get their eyes checked. When we came out of the doctor's office, my youngest son said:
"Do I need glasses?"
I said, "No, your eyes are 20/20."
He said, "What does that mean?"
I said, "It means your eyes are just the way God intended them to be."
To which my quirky second son replied, "So are mine, Mom. Just because I need glasses doesn't mean my eyes aren't the way God intended them to be. I'm exactly how He wants me to be."
He was FOUR.
I'm pretty sure my quirky guy saw (and still sees) the world much more clearly than the rest of us.
My point?
Whatever your strengths and weakness, whatever your dreams and aspirations, they are uniquely yours. God-given, they are the foundation of who you are, where you'll go, and what you will become. The Bible says we are knit together in our mother's wombs. In my mind, I see the Master creator, crafting the very fiber of who we are. Not by accident, not without reason, but because He wants us uniquely suited for His purpose.
As a quirky day dreamer who has become a teacher and author, I can honestly say that the things that set me apart from others are the things that make me able to do what I do. Determination, stubbornness, an unfortunate laid-back attitude toward housework, a huge imagination, the ability to create stories in my head and then transfer those images and thoughts into words, those are what help me walk the tightrope that is my life. Balanced precariously between my role as wife and mother and my role as author, I use the unique qualities God gave me to live the life He always intended I would have.
Don't be afraid to be uniquely you. Whatever your strengths and weakness, they are exactly what God intended!
Her description of her son made me smile. I have a quirky kid, too. Of my four, he's the one most likely to come up with interesting ideas, understand deep things of God, explore the world with wonder and enthusiasm. Less mature than my other kids, he lacks some of the gifts that come so easily to them. While my other three thrive at musical endeavors, my second son struggles to feel beat and rhythm. While my other kids are gregarious and active, my second born is quieter, more introspective and given to deep thinking. While the other three run, jump and leap, my dear second child trips, falls and limps.
Is he to be pitied because he marches to his own beat, lives in his own world, enjoys things in a different way than 90% of kids his age?
Do we look back and pity Einstein or Edison? Do we feel sorry for Ansel Adams?
Of course we don't.
Those men (and so many men and women just like them) struggled in school, struggled at home, struggled with life, but their experiments, their drive, their unique way of looking at the world led to advancement in thinking, design and concept.
I remember when #2 was four. I brought him to get his eyes checked and learned that his vision was 20/425. According to the eye doctor, #2 had never seen the world clearly. A few months later, I brought all the kids back so that my oldest and youngest sons could get their eyes checked. When we came out of the doctor's office, my youngest son said:
"Do I need glasses?"
I said, "No, your eyes are 20/20."
He said, "What does that mean?"
I said, "It means your eyes are just the way God intended them to be."
To which my quirky second son replied, "So are mine, Mom. Just because I need glasses doesn't mean my eyes aren't the way God intended them to be. I'm exactly how He wants me to be."
He was FOUR.
I'm pretty sure my quirky guy saw (and still sees) the world much more clearly than the rest of us.
My point?
Whatever your strengths and weakness, whatever your dreams and aspirations, they are uniquely yours. God-given, they are the foundation of who you are, where you'll go, and what you will become. The Bible says we are knit together in our mother's wombs. In my mind, I see the Master creator, crafting the very fiber of who we are. Not by accident, not without reason, but because He wants us uniquely suited for His purpose.
As a quirky day dreamer who has become a teacher and author, I can honestly say that the things that set me apart from others are the things that make me able to do what I do. Determination, stubbornness, an unfortunate laid-back attitude toward housework, a huge imagination, the ability to create stories in my head and then transfer those images and thoughts into words, those are what help me walk the tightrope that is my life. Balanced precariously between my role as wife and mother and my role as author, I use the unique qualities God gave me to live the life He always intended I would have.
Don't be afraid to be uniquely you. Whatever your strengths and weakness, they are exactly what God intended!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Good Intentions
It seems I always start the week with big plans regarding things like how much cleaning will get done, how much writing I'll do, how much more organized I'll be. Inevitably, I wake up on Thursday morning and think - where in the world is the week going and why haven't I accomplished more during it?!
What I'm beginning to realize is that I am only one person (yes, I know it seems obvious, but I so want to be everything to everyone). I have limited time. I can't be two (or three or four) places at once. Therefore, no matter how much I want to do everything for everyone, I simply can't.
Of course, realizing this doesn't make me any less anxious to accomplish what I feel I should.
Interestingly enough, when I was in college I wrote a paper focused on the idea that the more modern advances women have, the more time (rather than less time) they spend devoted to cleaning, cooking, etc. I think that idea is more true than any of us realize. All I have to do is watch television and I'm bombarded with commercials for equipment that I can use to (pick your poison) have whiter whites, brighter brights, shinier floors, more sanitary toilets, smaller onion slices, air tight frozen foods, even MORE airtight frozen foods, tighter abs, stronger thighs, clearer skin, more luxurious hair. The ideal woman, then, must have a spotless house, a perfect figure and timeless beauty.
Of course, by the time that perfect woman is done using every new product on the market to make her house sparkle and her laundry immaculate, and by the time she's done running and lunging and lifting and stretching, exfoliated and scrubbing, washing and rubbing, that poor perfect woman is a tired old hag who can barely lift her head to give her kids a kiss goodnight!
So, dear friends, I have not reached Thursday with my to-do list done. However, I am happy to report that I have plenty of energy to dole out hugs and kisses!
What I'm beginning to realize is that I am only one person (yes, I know it seems obvious, but I so want to be everything to everyone). I have limited time. I can't be two (or three or four) places at once. Therefore, no matter how much I want to do everything for everyone, I simply can't.
Of course, realizing this doesn't make me any less anxious to accomplish what I feel I should.
Interestingly enough, when I was in college I wrote a paper focused on the idea that the more modern advances women have, the more time (rather than less time) they spend devoted to cleaning, cooking, etc. I think that idea is more true than any of us realize. All I have to do is watch television and I'm bombarded with commercials for equipment that I can use to (pick your poison) have whiter whites, brighter brights, shinier floors, more sanitary toilets, smaller onion slices, air tight frozen foods, even MORE airtight frozen foods, tighter abs, stronger thighs, clearer skin, more luxurious hair. The ideal woman, then, must have a spotless house, a perfect figure and timeless beauty.
Of course, by the time that perfect woman is done using every new product on the market to make her house sparkle and her laundry immaculate, and by the time she's done running and lunging and lifting and stretching, exfoliated and scrubbing, washing and rubbing, that poor perfect woman is a tired old hag who can barely lift her head to give her kids a kiss goodnight!
So, dear friends, I have not reached Thursday with my to-do list done. However, I am happy to report that I have plenty of energy to dole out hugs and kisses!
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Writing Challenges
One of the things aspiring authors don't often think about are the challenges that arise after the first contract is attained. While it may seem that getting published is the ultimate goal when it comes to being an author, I'd argue that the true test of a person's dedication to his or her craft lies in the ability to continue after the first book is sold. Case in point - during the months preceding my first sale, I congratulated three other new authors on the sales of their first manuscripts. As far as I've been able to tell, none of them ever sold another book.
Why?
Simply put, achieving publication is a wonderful, exciting and fantastic time in a writer's life. When we get THE call, we dance and scream and rejoice (as we should). Finally, after (sometimes) years of effort and countless rejection, we've been validated. We really are AUTHORS. However, writing isn't just an art. It's a job. It's not just a craft. It's a career. Being successful at it means pushing ourselves to continue past that first sale to the second and third and fourth. It means facing rejection again. It means working with people who have different ideas about our stories and writing styles. It means opening ourselves up to criticism and disappointment.
Perhaps even more than that, it means sacrifice- Sleep, free time, relaxation. We may have full-time careers apart from writing. We may be busy moms and wives; husbands and fathers. We may be homeschooling our kids or hosting Bible studies at our houses. Whatever the case, we all have lives outside of our writing careers. At least we should. Maintaining those things that are important in our lives while pursuing our God-given passion and talent for writing can be a draining (though fulfilling)endeavor. When the reality of the work sets in (revisions, copy edits, line edits, hours in front of a computer trying to make another story work), some authors decide the returns aren't worth the effort.
To be successful at what we do, we must accept early in our careers that it takes time to make money writing, that not everyone is going to love (or even like) our work and that sometimes the people closest to us won't understand the drive to complete the next story, sell the next book, continue the journey. Perhaps those closest to us don't understand that crafting a story is work. Perhaps they see our writing as a hobby - one that pulls us away from more important things (them!).
Whatever the case, to be successful as authors we must anticipate, acknowledge and accept the challenges that come our way. As with any journey God puts us on, we are not promised an easy path. We are only promised comfort and companionship along the way.
I guess my point is - being an author is one of the most fantastic jobs a person can have, but it requires a great deal of self motivation, self confidence and faith. Is it worth it? Of course! Is it easy? No. However, if it is your passion and your gift, what choice do you have but to push forward and strive to achieve all your goals and dreams?
Keep writing!
Why?
Simply put, achieving publication is a wonderful, exciting and fantastic time in a writer's life. When we get THE call, we dance and scream and rejoice (as we should). Finally, after (sometimes) years of effort and countless rejection, we've been validated. We really are AUTHORS. However, writing isn't just an art. It's a job. It's not just a craft. It's a career. Being successful at it means pushing ourselves to continue past that first sale to the second and third and fourth. It means facing rejection again. It means working with people who have different ideas about our stories and writing styles. It means opening ourselves up to criticism and disappointment.
Perhaps even more than that, it means sacrifice- Sleep, free time, relaxation. We may have full-time careers apart from writing. We may be busy moms and wives; husbands and fathers. We may be homeschooling our kids or hosting Bible studies at our houses. Whatever the case, we all have lives outside of our writing careers. At least we should. Maintaining those things that are important in our lives while pursuing our God-given passion and talent for writing can be a draining (though fulfilling)endeavor. When the reality of the work sets in (revisions, copy edits, line edits, hours in front of a computer trying to make another story work), some authors decide the returns aren't worth the effort.
To be successful at what we do, we must accept early in our careers that it takes time to make money writing, that not everyone is going to love (or even like) our work and that sometimes the people closest to us won't understand the drive to complete the next story, sell the next book, continue the journey. Perhaps those closest to us don't understand that crafting a story is work. Perhaps they see our writing as a hobby - one that pulls us away from more important things (them!).
Whatever the case, to be successful as authors we must anticipate, acknowledge and accept the challenges that come our way. As with any journey God puts us on, we are not promised an easy path. We are only promised comfort and companionship along the way.
I guess my point is - being an author is one of the most fantastic jobs a person can have, but it requires a great deal of self motivation, self confidence and faith. Is it worth it? Of course! Is it easy? No. However, if it is your passion and your gift, what choice do you have but to push forward and strive to achieve all your goals and dreams?
Keep writing!
Friday, February 08, 2008
If
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if....
you'd taken that job opportunity that you were afraid to pursue?
you'd moved rather than stayed?
you'd had a child then rather than waiting until the money was there?
you'd stepped out in faith a little sooner?
you'd shared a little more of who you were or what you have?
you'd said you were sorry one more time?
Lately I've been thinking a lot about 'if only' and how those two little words can keep us frozen in place, afraid to move forward, afraid to look back. In my April release, Lakeview Protector, the heroine often wonders....what if...what if...what if. That question haunts her as she tries to move forward and live life in the wake of a horrible tragedy.
As I wrote the book, I found myself caught up in her struggle and wondering how a person could live with a descion that seemed to have completely altered her life. How do you go on when you feel one choice, one moment might have created a different outcome? A better one?
Of course, life is about moving forward and accepting that the past is just that - past. Still, do you ever wonder?
you'd taken that job opportunity that you were afraid to pursue?
you'd moved rather than stayed?
you'd had a child then rather than waiting until the money was there?
you'd stepped out in faith a little sooner?
you'd shared a little more of who you were or what you have?
you'd said you were sorry one more time?
Lately I've been thinking a lot about 'if only' and how those two little words can keep us frozen in place, afraid to move forward, afraid to look back. In my April release, Lakeview Protector, the heroine often wonders....what if...what if...what if. That question haunts her as she tries to move forward and live life in the wake of a horrible tragedy.
As I wrote the book, I found myself caught up in her struggle and wondering how a person could live with a descion that seemed to have completely altered her life. How do you go on when you feel one choice, one moment might have created a different outcome? A better one?
Of course, life is about moving forward and accepting that the past is just that - past. Still, do you ever wonder?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Writing a Continuity Book
The week before Thanksgiving, my editor emailed me to ask if I'd like to participate in the 2009 LIS continuity. After looking at my deadlines, I realized I could swing it. I'm excited to take part in this project. However, it's going to push me in a few directions I haven't explored before. First, I'll be writing a female FBI agent. Fortunately, I do know several people who work for the FBI, so I should be fine getting details that I need. Second, I'm writing about a forensic anthropologist. This is a career that has fascinated me for a long time, so I'm excited to write a hero whose career I'll really enjoy researching. Third, I'll be writing about a place I've never been which I always find challenging.
The problem with writing a continuity really doesn't lie in writing the book, but in coordinating the details of the stories and characters with the other five authors who are working on it. For LIS continuities, there are always five other books. Five other personalities. Five other people who have their own style, voice, and ideas about writing. This will be my third continuity, and I'm always amazed at how well the authors mesh when working on projects like it.
It's fun. Exciting. Really, really interesting.
What a blessing to be included!
The problem with writing a continuity really doesn't lie in writing the book, but in coordinating the details of the stories and characters with the other five authors who are working on it. For LIS continuities, there are always five other books. Five other personalities. Five other people who have their own style, voice, and ideas about writing. This will be my third continuity, and I'm always amazed at how well the authors mesh when working on projects like it.
It's fun. Exciting. Really, really interesting.
What a blessing to be included!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Running the Race
Yesterday, we had a guest speaker at church. He was seventy-seven. He told us that many times . For good reason, of course. His entire message was about running the race and not quitting until you cross the finish line.
It's funny, but he said something I've been thinking about a lot lately - "So, I've accomplished all these things. Is that it? Have I completed my work?"
The answer, of course, is no. We're never finished. There is always more to do. More lives to touch. More people to help. More souls to reach. God has a plan for each of our lives. He has uniquely suited us to fulfill those plans. There is nothing that we can't do if He is in it. No goal that can't be reached, no dream that can't be achieved. More than that, there is no limit to the work that He has for us to do.
May we all finish the race stronger than we began it!
It's funny, but he said something I've been thinking about a lot lately - "So, I've accomplished all these things. Is that it? Have I completed my work?"
The answer, of course, is no. We're never finished. There is always more to do. More lives to touch. More people to help. More souls to reach. God has a plan for each of our lives. He has uniquely suited us to fulfill those plans. There is nothing that we can't do if He is in it. No goal that can't be reached, no dream that can't be achieved. More than that, there is no limit to the work that He has for us to do.
May we all finish the race stronger than we began it!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
One of Those Days
Today was one of THOSE days. You know the ones I mean. They start out bad and just keep on getting worse until you wonder why you even bothered to get out of bed.
I won't explain all the running around and craziness that went along with today. I'll just highlight my favorite irritation. (Yes, it is possible to have a favorite irritation!).
Today while I was at the gym with my daughter, I went to pay for next month's homeschool gym. The lady in front of me in line is very sweet and we've talked often during the past few months. She was signing her daughter up for something and she told the guy in the office that I was a 'famous author.' I was a little embarrassed because I'm not famous and because I generally don't announce to people that I'm a writer. So I said:
"I'm not famous, but I am an author."
To which the office guy replied - "You can't be famous because I've never heard of you before."
To which my friend replied - "She's on Amazon.com. That makes her more famous than either of us."
To which the office guy replied - "Well I'm a published poet. I've gotten a poem published in a book. "
To which my friend replied - "How many books?"
To which office guy replied - "One."
So my friend says - "Well she's just sold her thirteenth book. Thirteen."
To which office guy replied - "Well, I've had articles published in a bunch of different journals."
To which I replied. "That's really exciting for you. Can I pay for my kids' homsechool gym class?"
To which office guy replies by frowning.
Being me, I say - "If it's too much trouble, I can pay Monday."
And he says - "That would be best."
And I realize that I've just spent ten minutes of my day listening to my friend and some guy I don't know argue about whether or not I'm more famous than he is, and I didn't even get to pay for the class I was standing there waiting to pay for.
Grrrrrr.
I won't explain all the running around and craziness that went along with today. I'll just highlight my favorite irritation. (Yes, it is possible to have a favorite irritation!).
Today while I was at the gym with my daughter, I went to pay for next month's homeschool gym. The lady in front of me in line is very sweet and we've talked often during the past few months. She was signing her daughter up for something and she told the guy in the office that I was a 'famous author.' I was a little embarrassed because I'm not famous and because I generally don't announce to people that I'm a writer. So I said:
"I'm not famous, but I am an author."
To which the office guy replied - "You can't be famous because I've never heard of you before."
To which my friend replied - "She's on Amazon.com. That makes her more famous than either of us."
To which the office guy replied - "Well I'm a published poet. I've gotten a poem published in a book. "
To which my friend replied - "How many books?"
To which office guy replied - "One."
So my friend says - "Well she's just sold her thirteenth book. Thirteen."
To which office guy replied - "Well, I've had articles published in a bunch of different journals."
To which I replied. "That's really exciting for you. Can I pay for my kids' homsechool gym class?"
To which office guy replies by frowning.
Being me, I say - "If it's too much trouble, I can pay Monday."
And he says - "That would be best."
And I realize that I've just spent ten minutes of my day listening to my friend and some guy I don't know argue about whether or not I'm more famous than he is, and I didn't even get to pay for the class I was standing there waiting to pay for.
Grrrrrr.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Finger printing revisited
In pursuit of child #5, my husband and I reported to INS to have our fingerprinting done. This is our second time getting finger printed. I can't help but wonder why the other set of finger prints weren't good enough. Fortunately, this was a fairly painless process and took much less time than I thought it would. Yay for one thing going right!
As for things going wrong...don't even get me started on why it's taken so long for the doctor's office to fill out our medical forms. Two weeks and close to two hours on the phone. I can't blame the doctor's office. They really are trying. They've just never done this before. Which was made obvious by the fact that they did it wrong and I've now got to start the entire medical form process again.
To make matters worse, my desktop crashed. I lost everything including every email address. Yikes! On the upside, my book that is due Monday is safe on my laptop. My husband (computer genius that he is) was able to restore me to on-line status. My computer is running again. The world has returned to its orbit.
I thought about saying something about writing. Then I changed my mind. Then I thought about it again so I'm going to say it - it's hard work. Hard, hard, hard work. If it were a sport, it would be marathon racing.
Endure.
As for things going wrong...don't even get me started on why it's taken so long for the doctor's office to fill out our medical forms. Two weeks and close to two hours on the phone. I can't blame the doctor's office. They really are trying. They've just never done this before. Which was made obvious by the fact that they did it wrong and I've now got to start the entire medical form process again.
To make matters worse, my desktop crashed. I lost everything including every email address. Yikes! On the upside, my book that is due Monday is safe on my laptop. My husband (computer genius that he is) was able to restore me to on-line status. My computer is running again. The world has returned to its orbit.
I thought about saying something about writing. Then I changed my mind. Then I thought about it again so I'm going to say it - it's hard work. Hard, hard, hard work. If it were a sport, it would be marathon racing.
Endure.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Book Cover # 7
Or is it eight?
STILL WATERS, DIE BEFORE NIGHTFALL, EVEN IN THE DARKNESS, WHEN SILENCE FALLS, LITTLE GIRL LOST, VALLEY OF SHADOWS, STRANGER IN THE SHADOWS
Okay, it is # 8.
MISSING PERSONS. Part of the Reunion Relelations continuity which begins with Val Hansen's book - HIDDEN IN THE WALL.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780373442782&itm=6
STILL WATERS, DIE BEFORE NIGHTFALL, EVEN IN THE DARKNESS, WHEN SILENCE FALLS, LITTLE GIRL LOST, VALLEY OF SHADOWS, STRANGER IN THE SHADOWS
Okay, it is # 8.
MISSING PERSONS. Part of the Reunion Relelations continuity which begins with Val Hansen's book - HIDDEN IN THE WALL.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780373442782&itm=6
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Really Really Real
Yesterday, I wrote out a check for a major portion of our adoption expenses. Up until this point, my mind has said - 'Yes, Shirlee, this is really going to happen' while my heart has been wondering - 'is this really going to happen?'.
Seriously, this is something my husband and I have talked about off and on for thirteen years. While I've always wanted to adopt from China, I'm not sure I really believed it would happen. I guess it's like wanting to visit a beautiful, exotic location. For years you imagine it, then suddenly you're there and it feels like a dream.
So far, during the adoption process, I've felt emotionally distant from things. It's been paperwork and checks, leg work and aggravation (hey, I've got to be honest here). There is still a lot of the last two going on as I attempt to finish gathering what we need for the dossier. But there was something about writing that check, seeing that (large) amount of money leaving our account. I looked at the check, shook my head and thought, 'well, if any of my children were stranded in a foreign country I would go to any lengths, pay any expense to bring them home.'
And then I realized that one of my children is stranded in a foreign country, and that I am going to any lengths to bring her home.
In a strange way, it's made me think more of God's sacrifice for us. Adopted into His family, grafted onto the family tree. Loved before we knew Him. Unconditionally. Without thought to the cost.
In my mind, I see her - a little girl, living life in a Chinese orphanage, completely unaware of her mother, father, brothers and sister whose hearts are already with her. And I understand a little more the immensity of God's love for His children, the power of it reaching out to pull us in and make us His.
Seriously, this is something my husband and I have talked about off and on for thirteen years. While I've always wanted to adopt from China, I'm not sure I really believed it would happen. I guess it's like wanting to visit a beautiful, exotic location. For years you imagine it, then suddenly you're there and it feels like a dream.
So far, during the adoption process, I've felt emotionally distant from things. It's been paperwork and checks, leg work and aggravation (hey, I've got to be honest here). There is still a lot of the last two going on as I attempt to finish gathering what we need for the dossier. But there was something about writing that check, seeing that (large) amount of money leaving our account. I looked at the check, shook my head and thought, 'well, if any of my children were stranded in a foreign country I would go to any lengths, pay any expense to bring them home.'
And then I realized that one of my children is stranded in a foreign country, and that I am going to any lengths to bring her home.
In a strange way, it's made me think more of God's sacrifice for us. Adopted into His family, grafted onto the family tree. Loved before we knew Him. Unconditionally. Without thought to the cost.
In my mind, I see her - a little girl, living life in a Chinese orphanage, completely unaware of her mother, father, brothers and sister whose hearts are already with her. And I understand a little more the immensity of God's love for His children, the power of it reaching out to pull us in and make us His.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Expect the Unexpected
So, my darling daughter has been taking gymnastics classes for three years. In that time, she's moved from recreational gym into a pre-team program designed to prepare her for competition. In all the time she's been learning, I've never thought to video tape her. However, last Wednesday I happened to have my husband's digital camera with me. The girls were too far away to get much of a view of the activities, so I didn't pull out the camera. PLUS, they were working on round-off back handspring which is the first tumbling pass a gymnast learns. Seeing as how my six-year-old still hasn't quite perfected her back handspring on the floor, I didn't feel the need to try and get a shot of her practicing the skill.
I watched with some friends while one girl after another threw the pass with a spot. Finally, one of the girls was able to do it without a spot for the very first time. It was a fun to catch the moment, to see a child move from inability to ability. Emma was up next, and I thought, "well, in another six months she'll probably be able to throw that tumbling pass. Hopefully, I'll get a video tape of her first successful attempt." The teacher spotted her twice. The third time Ms. Dawn said something to Emma. Then, to my shock, Emma ran, hurdled into the round-off and rebounded into a back handspring all on her own.
And I didn't even have my camera out!
I missed it because I wasn't expecting it. In my mind, there was a limit to what my daughter could accomplish. I'd put her learning abilities into a box, bundled them up, and made assumptions about something based on my own limited view. Of course, all I missed was video tape of a tumbling pass, but the experience made me wonder what other things I've missed. Sometimes I'm quick to say a thing is impossible, or to decide before I even try that I won't be successful. I'm much more likely to put limits on what can happen than to open my mind to all the exciting possibilities.
It doesn't help that society tells us what is and is not possible. Over forty and single? Hang up your hat and buy a few cats. Obviously, you'll never be married. Want to publish the next great American novel? Forget it. The market is too rocky. Want to retire at fifty? Please! You'll be lucky to retire at 100. Want to change the world? Don't waste your energy. There's only so much one person can do.
The truth is much different than what society tells us. The truth is that none of us know what is possible. In God's infinite wisdom He works in and through us, creating possibilities where we think none exist. Our job, then, is to be ready. Ready for action. Ready to move forward. Ready to embrace the opportunities He gives. Success might be just around the next corner, our dream house around the next bend in the road, the child we've longed for, the spouse we desire, the love we yearn for, even the writing contract we've worked for might be just another few prayers away.
When we trust fully in God's power over our lives, over the world, the universe and time itself, we realize that there are no limits. Impossibilities are only walls we build around our dreams. And sometimes our dreams are only a small part of the journey to a much bigger success than we imagined.
If your dreams haven't yet been fulfilled, don't give up. Keep the camera out and keep it rolling, because when you least expect it, the unexpected just may happen.
I watched with some friends while one girl after another threw the pass with a spot. Finally, one of the girls was able to do it without a spot for the very first time. It was a fun to catch the moment, to see a child move from inability to ability. Emma was up next, and I thought, "well, in another six months she'll probably be able to throw that tumbling pass. Hopefully, I'll get a video tape of her first successful attempt." The teacher spotted her twice. The third time Ms. Dawn said something to Emma. Then, to my shock, Emma ran, hurdled into the round-off and rebounded into a back handspring all on her own.
And I didn't even have my camera out!
I missed it because I wasn't expecting it. In my mind, there was a limit to what my daughter could accomplish. I'd put her learning abilities into a box, bundled them up, and made assumptions about something based on my own limited view. Of course, all I missed was video tape of a tumbling pass, but the experience made me wonder what other things I've missed. Sometimes I'm quick to say a thing is impossible, or to decide before I even try that I won't be successful. I'm much more likely to put limits on what can happen than to open my mind to all the exciting possibilities.
It doesn't help that society tells us what is and is not possible. Over forty and single? Hang up your hat and buy a few cats. Obviously, you'll never be married. Want to publish the next great American novel? Forget it. The market is too rocky. Want to retire at fifty? Please! You'll be lucky to retire at 100. Want to change the world? Don't waste your energy. There's only so much one person can do.
The truth is much different than what society tells us. The truth is that none of us know what is possible. In God's infinite wisdom He works in and through us, creating possibilities where we think none exist. Our job, then, is to be ready. Ready for action. Ready to move forward. Ready to embrace the opportunities He gives. Success might be just around the next corner, our dream house around the next bend in the road, the child we've longed for, the spouse we desire, the love we yearn for, even the writing contract we've worked for might be just another few prayers away.
When we trust fully in God's power over our lives, over the world, the universe and time itself, we realize that there are no limits. Impossibilities are only walls we build around our dreams. And sometimes our dreams are only a small part of the journey to a much bigger success than we imagined.
If your dreams haven't yet been fulfilled, don't give up. Keep the camera out and keep it rolling, because when you least expect it, the unexpected just may happen.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Where O Where Has Shirlee Gone?
Obviously it has been too long since I've checked in here. I received a postcard all the way from Mexico in the time it's taken me to think of something interesting to say.
Yes, Darlene, I'm okay!
In the past month the following things have occurred in my life -
The home study for the adoption was complete - YAY!
My husband and I decided to request a child between the ages of 0 and 72 months rather than our original request of 36-60 months.
I completed numerous edits, copy edits and art fact sheets for several books.
I wrote a letter to China regarding the adoption (for the dossier).
I rewrote the letter to China.
And rewrote it.
Three kids got sick.
Three kids got better.
I got sick.
I sort of got better (the weather change is horrible for allergy sufferers!).
I learned that my second book in the Sinclair brothers trilogy is going to be out in December of next year.
Four kids participated in a fall recital.
Two kids completed one of three (yes, three) rehearsals for concerto competition.
I almost finished writing my book.
Almost being the key word.
My house became an absolute mess!!!
I brought four kids to (in no particular order)seventeen hours of piano lessons, three hours of rehearsal, 21 hours of gymnastics, three hours of dance, five hours of grocery shopping, three hours of doctors visits.
Things that did not happen in the past month -
I did not make a trip to the police station where I am to get a letter stating that my husband and I are not criminals (this is for our China dossier).
I did not call the doctor to get a second note about my husband and my own health. I also did not get the un-asked-for note notarized. (also for the dossier)
I did not clean my work area.
Nor did a I:
catch up on laundry
meet my goal of keeping the kitchen sink empty
lose five pounds
go for a walk every day
keep my sanity
If you caught on to the last, then you really are reading my blog!
Yes, Darlene, I'm okay!
In the past month the following things have occurred in my life -
The home study for the adoption was complete - YAY!
My husband and I decided to request a child between the ages of 0 and 72 months rather than our original request of 36-60 months.
I completed numerous edits, copy edits and art fact sheets for several books.
I wrote a letter to China regarding the adoption (for the dossier).
I rewrote the letter to China.
And rewrote it.
Three kids got sick.
Three kids got better.
I got sick.
I sort of got better (the weather change is horrible for allergy sufferers!).
I learned that my second book in the Sinclair brothers trilogy is going to be out in December of next year.
Four kids participated in a fall recital.
Two kids completed one of three (yes, three) rehearsals for concerto competition.
I almost finished writing my book.
Almost being the key word.
My house became an absolute mess!!!
I brought four kids to (in no particular order)seventeen hours of piano lessons, three hours of rehearsal, 21 hours of gymnastics, three hours of dance, five hours of grocery shopping, three hours of doctors visits.
Things that did not happen in the past month -
I did not make a trip to the police station where I am to get a letter stating that my husband and I are not criminals (this is for our China dossier).
I did not call the doctor to get a second note about my husband and my own health. I also did not get the un-asked-for note notarized. (also for the dossier)
I did not clean my work area.
Nor did a I:
catch up on laundry
meet my goal of keeping the kitchen sink empty
lose five pounds
go for a walk every day
keep my sanity
If you caught on to the last, then you really are reading my blog!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Laws of Nature
So, I was talking to a very dear friend of mine about natural laws. You know stuff like - for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Those laws are what they are because God created them to be that. When writing our MASTERPIECES we need to keep these firmly in mind. Action always results in consequences. Both for ourselves and our characters.
My friend, Brenda Minton, knows a whole lot more about the writing process than I do. She's one of those wonderful people who is very determined to have all the information she needs to be successful. While I spent a few years quietly trying to figure this mad writer's world out on my own, she found some fantastic writers willing to share their knowledge. That's not to say that Brenda didn't 'make it' on her own. She did, but in the process, she formed some friendships that have given her shoulders to lean on and sounding boards for her questions. While we were talking, yesterday, the subject of action and consequences came up. We weren't discussing writing, but somehow ended up discussing how our fiction should mimic real life. She brought up something about crafting scenes that completely missed the mark with me. Being me, I just dumbly nodded (we were on the phone!), and said, "Yep, it's exactly like that." Because, while I've never read anything about what she was describing, I knew instinctively that the concept is right. For every action our characters take, there must be a consequence for which they must take another action. This circular movement builds wider arcs as each action becomes more important, each consequence more life changing.
If you find that your manuscripts fall flat, or that they seem to drag when they should be moving along quickly, think about action and consequences. Ask yourself - what will the consequence of that action be? What decision will have to be made because of that? What action will have to be taken? How can I build the stakes, make each decision, each consequence more important than the next?
My friend, Brenda Minton, knows a whole lot more about the writing process than I do. She's one of those wonderful people who is very determined to have all the information she needs to be successful. While I spent a few years quietly trying to figure this mad writer's world out on my own, she found some fantastic writers willing to share their knowledge. That's not to say that Brenda didn't 'make it' on her own. She did, but in the process, she formed some friendships that have given her shoulders to lean on and sounding boards for her questions. While we were talking, yesterday, the subject of action and consequences came up. We weren't discussing writing, but somehow ended up discussing how our fiction should mimic real life. She brought up something about crafting scenes that completely missed the mark with me. Being me, I just dumbly nodded (we were on the phone!), and said, "Yep, it's exactly like that." Because, while I've never read anything about what she was describing, I knew instinctively that the concept is right. For every action our characters take, there must be a consequence for which they must take another action. This circular movement builds wider arcs as each action becomes more important, each consequence more life changing.
If you find that your manuscripts fall flat, or that they seem to drag when they should be moving along quickly, think about action and consequences. Ask yourself - what will the consequence of that action be? What decision will have to be made because of that? What action will have to be taken? How can I build the stakes, make each decision, each consequence more important than the next?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Adoption
I'm beginning to think I should have two blogs. One for writing stuff and one for adoption stuff. However, I don't, so I'm going to go ahead and post adoption stuff here.
And, yes, it is four in the morning.
So, in April we started this process, thinking the homestudy would be done by August at the latest. It should have been. Things happened, though (as they are bound to do). Here we are mid-September and we're still not done the homestudy. On Friday I'm supposed to have my first interview with our social worker. I'm feeling a little nervous and I don't know why. Much as I've told myself not to get too emotionally involved in this process, the longer it stretches on, the more attached I feel to my far-away daughter. This, I'm thinking, could be a recipe for disaster. After all, who knows God's plan? We've gone into this with the idea that God would close doors that shouldn't be opened. That leaves room for lots of things to happen. Even the door to adoption slamming shut with a firmness that leaves no doubt that it's not meant to be. Really, I shouldn't get attached to a child who might not ever be part of our family.
Yet, here I am, sinking hip deep into emotional attachement and worrying that I may end up disappointed. I feel like a heroine in one of my novels. She knows she's attracted to the hero, but is sure that if she lets herself believe their relationship is going to happen she'll be hurt. Insert angsty music here.
I guess there's no help for it. I'm a mother. I have to love my children. Even if they are not yet in my arms. Which, unfortunately, means I'm going to end up being attached to a little girl who may never come home, and I may very well end up disappointed, because unlike the heroine's in my stories, I am NOT guaranteed a happy ending. At least not when it comes to the adoption.
On that dour note, I will post this poem (which I did not write, but which reflects my thought during these silent, thought-filled early morning hours perfectly )-KISSES IN THE WIND
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
--- Unknown
And, yes, it is four in the morning.
So, in April we started this process, thinking the homestudy would be done by August at the latest. It should have been. Things happened, though (as they are bound to do). Here we are mid-September and we're still not done the homestudy. On Friday I'm supposed to have my first interview with our social worker. I'm feeling a little nervous and I don't know why. Much as I've told myself not to get too emotionally involved in this process, the longer it stretches on, the more attached I feel to my far-away daughter. This, I'm thinking, could be a recipe for disaster. After all, who knows God's plan? We've gone into this with the idea that God would close doors that shouldn't be opened. That leaves room for lots of things to happen. Even the door to adoption slamming shut with a firmness that leaves no doubt that it's not meant to be. Really, I shouldn't get attached to a child who might not ever be part of our family.
Yet, here I am, sinking hip deep into emotional attachement and worrying that I may end up disappointed. I feel like a heroine in one of my novels. She knows she's attracted to the hero, but is sure that if she lets herself believe their relationship is going to happen she'll be hurt. Insert angsty music here.
I guess there's no help for it. I'm a mother. I have to love my children. Even if they are not yet in my arms. Which, unfortunately, means I'm going to end up being attached to a little girl who may never come home, and I may very well end up disappointed, because unlike the heroine's in my stories, I am NOT guaranteed a happy ending. At least not when it comes to the adoption.
On that dour note, I will post this poem (which I did not write, but which reflects my thought during these silent, thought-filled early morning hours perfectly )-KISSES IN THE WIND
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
--- Unknown
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Queries Revisited
I know I've covered this topic before, but I've had three people email me asking for advice on writing a query, so I thought I'd touch on it again. The two most important things a writer can do when crafting her query are:
1. Hook the editor with a brief (by this I mean a paragraph or two) summary of the story.
2. Keep the letter professional and to the point.
I know these things sound like no-brainers, but doing them is a lot more difficult than it seems. We want so badly to get it all in - all the details, everything about our writing experience and affiliations, our thankfulness that the edtior has taken the time to read our queries. We're nearly busting with our need to impress in the few precious seconds it will take the editor to read our letter. What we need to remember is that editors see many, many queries a week. Ours will be one of those. Our job, then, is to make our query stand out. Not in garish colors or perky, cutesy phrases, but in professional, concise summaries of our work. Sure, there are editors out there who may smile at our purple paper and poetic prose (I am the author you will love. Please read my work with lots of love), but why take chances? So few people can write a compelling query that when one crosses an editor's desk s/he's bound to pause, to take those few moments to ask, 'could this be the new author I'm looking for?'.
And, of course, we are those new authors.
So, just a brief example of a query that works.
Dear Ms. Endlich,
A family cabin deep in the Blue Ridge Mountains is the perfect place for Martha Gabler to escape sympathetic friends when she breaks up with her fiancé, but her getaway turns deadly when she encounters a group of gun runners determined to keep her from revealing their identities.
Undercover ATF agent Tristan Sinclair is expecting to close down an illegal weapons ring. Instead, he’s fighting for the life of a woman whose faith and courage inspire him. Determined to keep her safe, Tristan travels to the sleepy town of Lakeview, Virginia, and learns that protecting Martha isn’t nearly as difficult as protecting his heart.
Approximately 60,000 words in length, THE GAURDIAN'S MISSION is a story of romantic suspense that will appeal to readers who enjoy books by Shirlee McCoy and Marta Perry. An avid reader of inspirational romantic suspense, I believe THE GAURDIAN'S MISSION will fit well in your Love Inspired Suspense line.
May I send you the completed manuscript?
Sincerely,
Desperate Author
1. Hook the editor with a brief (by this I mean a paragraph or two) summary of the story.
2. Keep the letter professional and to the point.
I know these things sound like no-brainers, but doing them is a lot more difficult than it seems. We want so badly to get it all in - all the details, everything about our writing experience and affiliations, our thankfulness that the edtior has taken the time to read our queries. We're nearly busting with our need to impress in the few precious seconds it will take the editor to read our letter. What we need to remember is that editors see many, many queries a week. Ours will be one of those. Our job, then, is to make our query stand out. Not in garish colors or perky, cutesy phrases, but in professional, concise summaries of our work. Sure, there are editors out there who may smile at our purple paper and poetic prose (I am the author you will love. Please read my work with lots of love), but why take chances? So few people can write a compelling query that when one crosses an editor's desk s/he's bound to pause, to take those few moments to ask, 'could this be the new author I'm looking for?'.
And, of course, we are those new authors.
So, just a brief example of a query that works.
Dear Ms. Endlich,
A family cabin deep in the Blue Ridge Mountains is the perfect place for Martha Gabler to escape sympathetic friends when she breaks up with her fiancé, but her getaway turns deadly when she encounters a group of gun runners determined to keep her from revealing their identities.
Undercover ATF agent Tristan Sinclair is expecting to close down an illegal weapons ring. Instead, he’s fighting for the life of a woman whose faith and courage inspire him. Determined to keep her safe, Tristan travels to the sleepy town of Lakeview, Virginia, and learns that protecting Martha isn’t nearly as difficult as protecting his heart.
Approximately 60,000 words in length, THE GAURDIAN'S MISSION is a story of romantic suspense that will appeal to readers who enjoy books by Shirlee McCoy and Marta Perry. An avid reader of inspirational romantic suspense, I believe THE GAURDIAN'S MISSION will fit well in your Love Inspired Suspense line.
May I send you the completed manuscript?
Sincerely,
Desperate Author
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Give
Two weeks from today, I'm heading up to my brother's church in Williamsport, PA, for a fall festival. There'll be lots of fun things to do, and one thing that isn't so fun, but that is necessary. During the festival, the Red Cross will be taking donations. Blood donations. As a life-long needle-phobic, I'm feeling a little queasy thinking about it. As a recipient of five units of blood, I'm signed up to give.
During my college years, I gave blood five times. It never occurred to me that I might one day need that blood back. Fast forward to my daughter's birth, me in surgery with placenta previa, my head swimming as the blood poured from my body, my mind groggily coming to the conclusion that I could very well die.
Sound dramatic? It was. I'm not exaggerating the situation. You can check with my husband who has told me that he walked back into the room (after making sure our pre-term daughter was okay)and saw what looked like a war zone. Blood everywhere. Thanks to selfless donors, blood was available to replace what I'd lost. Five pints given. Five pints taken. Now it's my turn to give again.
Perhaps this seems like a morbid post. It is. It's also a scenario that plays out every day. Lives saved because people like you are willing to face the needles, the time crunch, the inconvenience. A half hour and a pint of your blood can save a life. I know it. I lived it.
Give. Because someone needs you to. Because one day you might need what you've so selflessly offered. Because someone you love might.
Give because it's the right thing to do. Because it matters. Because it will make a difference.
Give.
If you're in Williamsport in two weeks, I'll even hold your hand while you do it (after I've given and they've scraped me up off the pavement).
If not, you can find a blood donation center here - www.givelife.org or 1-800-GIVE-LIFE .
During my college years, I gave blood five times. It never occurred to me that I might one day need that blood back. Fast forward to my daughter's birth, me in surgery with placenta previa, my head swimming as the blood poured from my body, my mind groggily coming to the conclusion that I could very well die.
Sound dramatic? It was. I'm not exaggerating the situation. You can check with my husband who has told me that he walked back into the room (after making sure our pre-term daughter was okay)and saw what looked like a war zone. Blood everywhere. Thanks to selfless donors, blood was available to replace what I'd lost. Five pints given. Five pints taken. Now it's my turn to give again.
Perhaps this seems like a morbid post. It is. It's also a scenario that plays out every day. Lives saved because people like you are willing to face the needles, the time crunch, the inconvenience. A half hour and a pint of your blood can save a life. I know it. I lived it.
Give. Because someone needs you to. Because one day you might need what you've so selflessly offered. Because someone you love might.
Give because it's the right thing to do. Because it matters. Because it will make a difference.
Give.
If you're in Williamsport in two weeks, I'll even hold your hand while you do it (after I've given and they've scraped me up off the pavement).
If not, you can find a blood donation center here - www.givelife.org or 1-800-GIVE-LIFE .
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Raising the Super Star Kid
Okay, so I'm flipping through channels last night and see that there's a program about people who are desperately trying to get their children into the right schools. Not colleges, mind you. Kindergarten (or was it preschool). Obviously, I've missed the memo on this one. Who knew that kids had to start at three, four and five if they were to amount to anything (or everything)?
This phenomenon is one that's been bugging me for a while. When I was a kid, we went to school, maybe played sports on a team, took a dance class or two, maybe a musical instrument (if our parents had the money.). After school we did our homework and (gasp)played. I remember hide and go seek at dusk, t.v tag, statue. We'd run around in the yard with the neighborhood kids while the moms sat on the front stoop chatting about life. Anymore, I don't see kids playing outside. They're too busy becoming super athletes, super academics, super dancers, gymnasts, musicians (pick your poison). Don't get me wrong. I don't think there's anything terrible about giving kids opportunities to explore interests and passions. I don't think there's anything wrong with pushing your kids to try their best. I'm just not sure kids need hours of private tutors, private lessons, extra help so they can be SUPER KIDS.
Bad enough we moms must be super moms. Now we've also got to produce superstar kids? What's that about? And why are we all buying into it?
Personally, I'm not. Buying it, that is. I want my kids to do their best, but that doesn't mean they have to be THE best.
Hmmmmm, maybe it's time to give up that supermom notion, too.
This phenomenon is one that's been bugging me for a while. When I was a kid, we went to school, maybe played sports on a team, took a dance class or two, maybe a musical instrument (if our parents had the money.). After school we did our homework and (gasp)played. I remember hide and go seek at dusk, t.v tag, statue. We'd run around in the yard with the neighborhood kids while the moms sat on the front stoop chatting about life. Anymore, I don't see kids playing outside. They're too busy becoming super athletes, super academics, super dancers, gymnasts, musicians (pick your poison). Don't get me wrong. I don't think there's anything terrible about giving kids opportunities to explore interests and passions. I don't think there's anything wrong with pushing your kids to try their best. I'm just not sure kids need hours of private tutors, private lessons, extra help so they can be SUPER KIDS.
Bad enough we moms must be super moms. Now we've also got to produce superstar kids? What's that about? And why are we all buying into it?
Personally, I'm not. Buying it, that is. I want my kids to do their best, but that doesn't mean they have to be THE best.
Hmmmmm, maybe it's time to give up that supermom notion, too.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Learning To Fall
My daughter is six and involved in gymnastics. I say involved because the program she's in is more than fun-time recreational gym. It's work. Hard work. I've been watching her recently and have noticed something interesting. A year ago, when she fell while practicing a skill, she'd lie on the ground for a moment looking stunned before picking herself up and trying again. Anymore, she falls and jumps right back up without even blinking twice. It seems that while she's been learning the skills, she's also been learning something else. She's been learning to fall.
The other day, she fell off the bar, landed pretty much on her face, swung back up and started the move again, this time completing it flawlessly. After practice, I asked if it hurt when she fell. Her response surprised me. Not no. Not yes. Instead, she said, "I think so, but I got it the second time I tried (it being the move and not the fall)!"
She thinks it hurt? How can she not know?
I have a theory about this. One I am more than willing to share.
Gymnasts are incredibly tough people. How can they not be? To take part in the sport they have to learn to feel pain, to work through it, to even ignore it. They have to experience failure and still believe they can achieve success. They have to fall, brush themselves off, and try again. And again. And again. The only way they can do this is if the pleasure of success outshines the painful falls; if those small triumphs can somehow ease even the biggest wipe outs.
See where I'm headed with this?
Of course you do!
Writing may not be a physically demanding activity, but mentally it can be excruciating. Like the young gymnast soaring from one bar to the next and falling flat on her face, we often find ourselves breathless with pain as our manuscripts are rejected. Slam! All the breath is knocked from our bodies and we're left gasping, wondering if we have the guts to go for it again.
In the past years, I've worked with a lot of writers. Some of them have tried again and again. Slamming down, getting up, slamming down again, until they finally found themselves soaring grasping that bar and swinging high. Others have fallen hard and stayed down, unable to recover from the pain.
There's a reason for both things, I think. God's will. His timing. His plan. But true success can only be had when we are willing to forget the pain and push ourselves whole heartedly toward that high bar again.
Write on!
The other day, she fell off the bar, landed pretty much on her face, swung back up and started the move again, this time completing it flawlessly. After practice, I asked if it hurt when she fell. Her response surprised me. Not no. Not yes. Instead, she said, "I think so, but I got it the second time I tried (it being the move and not the fall)!"
She thinks it hurt? How can she not know?
I have a theory about this. One I am more than willing to share.
Gymnasts are incredibly tough people. How can they not be? To take part in the sport they have to learn to feel pain, to work through it, to even ignore it. They have to experience failure and still believe they can achieve success. They have to fall, brush themselves off, and try again. And again. And again. The only way they can do this is if the pleasure of success outshines the painful falls; if those small triumphs can somehow ease even the biggest wipe outs.
See where I'm headed with this?
Of course you do!
Writing may not be a physically demanding activity, but mentally it can be excruciating. Like the young gymnast soaring from one bar to the next and falling flat on her face, we often find ourselves breathless with pain as our manuscripts are rejected. Slam! All the breath is knocked from our bodies and we're left gasping, wondering if we have the guts to go for it again.
In the past years, I've worked with a lot of writers. Some of them have tried again and again. Slamming down, getting up, slamming down again, until they finally found themselves soaring grasping that bar and swinging high. Others have fallen hard and stayed down, unable to recover from the pain.
There's a reason for both things, I think. God's will. His timing. His plan. But true success can only be had when we are willing to forget the pain and push ourselves whole heartedly toward that high bar again.
Write on!
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