Yesterday, I wrote out a check for a major portion of our adoption expenses. Up until this point, my mind has said - 'Yes, Shirlee, this is really going to happen' while my heart has been wondering - 'is this really going to happen?'.
Seriously, this is something my husband and I have talked about off and on for thirteen years. While I've always wanted to adopt from China, I'm not sure I really believed it would happen. I guess it's like wanting to visit a beautiful, exotic location. For years you imagine it, then suddenly you're there and it feels like a dream.
So far, during the adoption process, I've felt emotionally distant from things. It's been paperwork and checks, leg work and aggravation (hey, I've got to be honest here). There is still a lot of the last two going on as I attempt to finish gathering what we need for the dossier. But there was something about writing that check, seeing that (large) amount of money leaving our account. I looked at the check, shook my head and thought, 'well, if any of my children were stranded in a foreign country I would go to any lengths, pay any expense to bring them home.'
And then I realized that one of my children is stranded in a foreign country, and that I am going to any lengths to bring her home.
In a strange way, it's made me think more of God's sacrifice for us. Adopted into His family, grafted onto the family tree. Loved before we knew Him. Unconditionally. Without thought to the cost.
In my mind, I see her - a little girl, living life in a Chinese orphanage, completely unaware of her mother, father, brothers and sister whose hearts are already with her. And I understand a little more the immensity of God's love for His children, the power of it reaching out to pull us in and make us His.