So, we can just get that out in the open. I really can't. Spell, I mean. I also can't copy from one page to another. Well, that's not quite accurate. I can copy if I already know the words or numbers, but if it's something I haven't seen before - a strange word, a new telephone number, I'm likely to make a lot of mistakes. To complicate matters, I'm a comma addict. I love using them. Even in inappropriate places. Even in places where they confuse the writing. I don't know the rules about using commas, and I only kind of sort of maybe care about them. Thus the freelance editor.
But this isn't a blog about freelance editors. This is a blog about using the gifts I do have. If I spent all my time worrying about my weaknesses, I wouldn't accomplish a thing. I'd sit in front of my computer, questioning every comma and looking up every word. I'd be frozen in place by fear and the sinking, sliding feeling of inadequacy that often tries to take hold.
So, I've just got to accept my weaknesses and let them go, knowing that God is greater than all those things.
How easy is that to say? The key is to do it. And, yes, I'm talking to you.
I know what you're worried about. You think you won't meet editor and agent expectations. You worry that your writing isn't polished enough. You look at your work and think it's pond scum (yeah, I've got a thing for that lately. I've been seeing a lot of scummy ponds). You have a synopsis you're sure is the worst ever written and you just know it's going to keep you from getting published. You're editing, editing, editing, looking for errors, counting them up in your head, groaning at all the mistakes, all the imperfections. All the things that will prevent your story from being told the way it should be. The way you wish you could tell it.
But I know something else. No matter the problems with your manuscript, your synopsis, your life, they are nothing compared to the beauty of knowing you are doing absolutely what God wants you to do. He doesn't care about those mistakes and inadequacies. He cares about relationship. And that's what He's asking for. Not just tiny little moments of prayer and time, but a daily commitment to seeking His will, to knowing Him better, and to being the person He means you to be.
So, write. Write as if you have no weaknesses. Write as if your story is one that simply must be told. Write as if all the effort, time and energy will be worth it even if the book never sees the light of day. Write because you must. For Him.
And let Him take care of the rest.