Monday, August 21, 2006

The Thing About Life

Is that the older we get, the faster it goes. I've noticed this most in recent years. One minute it's Christmas. The next it's summer. The next thing I know it's Christmas again. On the one hand, I'm urging it on, rushing toward the next great thing on the horizon. On the other, I'm digging in my heels, desperately trying to slow things down. Wait, I'm screaming, wait! I want to savor the moments, eke out the joy, sear it into my memory. Wait!

But time waits for no man. Or woman.

It's not slowing down and, as happens a few times each year, I find myself reevaluating the way I spend it. If time were money, I'd be using an awful lot of it on trifling things - penny candy and soda, amusement park rides and overnighters. Sure, there's momentary satisfaction in those, but what I really want are the things that last - harmony, joy, satisfaction. Those things cost a lot more. They cost loads of time. Time spent with kids, with husband, with God. Time spent in selfless pursuits, in serving and in doing so with the right heart attitude. They cost self. And self is so hard to give up.

I suppose I should tie this in to writing. And I can, because writing is such a big part of what I do and how I spend my time. At moments of frustration (of which there have been many lately), I wonder if I'd be better off pursuing other publishing niches, if writing what I write is really going to get me where I want to be, if I'm wasting time that is already slipping too quickly through my fingers. At those times, I doubt and I wonder and I angst. Is this my dream, or God's dream? A gift that should be used, or simply a distraction? If I'm heading in the right direction shouldn't things be easier? Should they be more difficult? Shouldn't I know?

If you're thinking the answers are coming, you're going to be disappointed. I never quite get the answers I'm seeking. No shouts of clear direction. Just a quiet whisper to my soul that says, "keep going".

So I do. Writing. Writing. While life flies by and I fly with it, net in hand, trying to capture every moment, every bit of joy.

And trusting my time is always well spent when spent for Him.

What is it you're spending your time on?

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