Monday, July 31, 2006

Bad Query. Bad, Bad Query.

Dear Editor,

I am so pleased to give you an opportunity to read my novel, A WOMAN AT THE BRINK OF INSANITY. I know you are going to love it. My mother, father, sister, brother, best friend, and six-year-old son all love this story. Since my mother is quite ill it would mean the world to my family if A WOMAN AT THE BRINK OF INSANITY were published. I've chosen your publishing house, because I think you need an author like me to spice up your line-up of authors. I can add a new perspective, as your publishing house mostly publishes non-fiction self-help books for men. If you take a chance on my fiction, I know you'll make lots of money off me. It's a no-lose situation.

My book is a great read. It's suspenseful, sometimes funny, and has a heart-grabbing ending that will leave a reader wanting to read more of my work. It's about a woman who thinks she's going crazy, but really she's not. She just thinks she is. But she's not really. Which is what makes the story really suspenseful and sometimes funny. And the heart-grabbing ending is something you will have to read to appreciate. It involves the woman finding a dog, but she thinks the dog is as crazy as she is. But the dog isn't. They live happily ever after together. That's kind of a play on the fairy tale theme. Only the woman doesn't end up with a man, she ends up with a dog! Readers are going to love it!

I know I've got your attention now and you're just dying to read what happens in this story. A WOMAN AT THE BRINK OF INSANITY is complete and ready for your request. I look forward to hearing from you, and to working with you on this and future publishing projects.

Of course, I'm contacting several other publishing houses. Even though yours is the one I want to write for, I'll have to take the best offer I get.

Sincerely,

Shirlee McCoy

7 comments:

Lynette Eason said...

Hehehehehehe...I wanna read it! Just kidding. Great example, Shirlee.

Mo said...

That made my morning! Thanks Shirlee. :) Of course, now I have to take a serious look at my WIP, seeing as how I was working on the cliche of the woman falling for a man.

Shirlee McCoy said...

That sure was fun to write, too. LOL

I'm free! Just mailed out copyedits on LITTLE GIRL LOST. Now I get to work on something NEW. Yay, me!

Sabrina L. Fox said...

What??? What's wrong with this query? It reads just like mine!

Kidding...quick give the girl something to write. She's delirious. LOL.

Glad you're free from the deadline--for now.

Shirlee McCoy said...

Oh, and Mo, you could use my dog idea. I've got to admit, it's a stroke of genius!

Sabrina, there's a method to my madness. Tomorrow, I'm posting a good query. :-)

Margo Carmichael said...

Ohhhh, now I see! :D

ScrollSquirrel said...

ROFLOLOL!

Squirl